Strange to say, I can feel the silence in the simplicity of your expression. I wish you every blessing in your journey into the “useless” realm, which I sometimes wish I could enter. It seems the amount of psychological noise we are exposed to changes us profoundly. I live a comparatively quiet life, but not nearly so quiet as yours; and around me I see people who walk about with blinking earbuds all day. Different animals, it feels like.
Either way you are encouraging me to think more about silence and stillness in the context of ordinary (non-monastic) life. Thank you.
Peter- I am trying to learn the language of silence. I am glad that it may be seeping in, even if just a little.
The whole experience of silence has me thinking a lot about noise. How did we get to a place where we need constant noise and stimulation to keep us going through the day. It is turning us into something else. I dare say it is even a kind of spiritual practice. The question is to what spirit? I wonder how much equivalence there is between civilization and noise? How much do those venn diagrams overlap?
I would love to hear what you have to say about silence and stillness in "ordinary" life. I am groping towards what that means myself. Even if, at least for a time, I am up here at altitude in the remote wilderness. I hope you and the family are doing well. -Jack
It’s hard to write about silence without considering the context of silence, so that’s part of my thought process right now. There is the context of the brain (I am reading, slowly, McGilchrist’s Master/Emissary book), and there is the context of civilization (as you pointed out), and other contexts. The most relevant one to me, is the context of trust in God as the foundation.
I was speaking earlier today with an aging pastor friend of mine, who reminded me that the Christian search for peace is not the search for peace itself, or a lack of conflict or silence, but a search for God, who is the foundation (the shalom) which provides peace even in the context of noise and conflict. My friend even went further, and suggested that it’s better to experience suffering in the context of this peace, because suffering keeps us aware of our need of God, rather than to experience peace and security and to forget that need; because in the latter case we gain nothing of lasting value, and lose the only thing that really matters (I am speaking, of course, from the perspective of the traditional Christian worldview).
This emphasis on suffering does not sit well with me naturally, but I would not expect it to. I don’t want to suffer in any context; I don’t endure it particularly well; and I don’t like seeing others suffer. But still I see the point. The bane of civilization is not that it robs peace from us (though it can certainly do that), but that it gives us a poorly founded peace.
Please don’t take any of this as a criticism of your own journey or focus. Each person’s walk is unique, which is one of the beauties of seeing through this worldview; it is not a template or a system or a formula but a story, with all the variations that implies.
For myself, it seems I need to always start the search for peace without sacrificing the greater imperative of being true to the things before me, which are many and often noisy but mundane (work, family, chores, etc). I could not undertake what you have undertaken, and yet the older I get, the more I have bumped into the question, How can I live more monastically, and what does that mean in my particular situation? What does it mean in my relationships? What does it mean during tasks? What does it mean for my particular personality, which is very monkish in some ways, and in other ways not at all?
I want to point out that at least for anyone living in America, there are practically limitless opportunities for private hermitages in nature, in near total solitude amid the most spectacular scenery.
In the West, 70% of the land is owned by BLM, which graciously makes nearly all of it available to anyone who wants to camp on it, often in remote and spectacular locations. Dirt roads make most of this land easily accessible. And you can choose your scenery, the most spectacular deserts or the deepest forests, or the tops of mountains, or wild and desolate coasts!
One can simply choose a beautiful spot, and set up camp for weeks. For that matter, one can climb a mountain and just camp, and spend a week in utter silence and solitude.
It is my fervent wish that one day the spectacular and amazing deserts and forests of the American West will thronged with hermits and holy men of all types, and monasteries will perch on mountain crags.
I am right now on my way to Moab Utah, near canyon lands np, to do exactly this - seek silence and solitude in the limitless and amazing redrock canyons of the Southwest.
Every time I pass a particularly moving and desolate stretch I think, this is the kind of scenery that people should go on pilgrimages to in order to visit the holy hermit (s) who live there, seeking advice, and every time I pass a remote hilltop I think how suitable it is for a monastery.
I was just reading the following in the Introduction to "The Wisdom of the Desert" by Thomas Merton. Which could very well be a manifesto of sorts for what I am calling the Arsenios Option. I think we all can, as you are, start now to fill the deserts with holy hermits. The time is now.
"It would perhaps be too much to say that the world needs another movement such as that which drew these men into the deserts. Ours is certainly a time for solitaries and for hermits. But merely to reproduce the simplicity, austerity and prayer of these primitive souls is not a complete or satisfactory answer. We must transcend all those who, since their time, have gone beyond the limits which they set. We must liberate ourselves, in our own way, from involvement in a world that is plunging to disaster. But our world is different than theirs. Our involvement in it is more complete. Our danger is far more desperate. Our time, perhaps, is shorter than we think.
We cannot do exactly what they did. But we must be as thorough and as ruthless in our determination to break all spiritual chains, and cast off the domination of alien compulsions, to find our true selves, to discover and develop our inalienable spiritual liberty and use it to build, on earth, the Kingdom of God. This is not the place in which to speculate what our great and mysterious vocation might involve. That is still unknown. Let it suffice for me to say that we need to learn from these men of the fourth century how to ignore prejudice, defy compulsion, and strike out fearlessly into the unknown."
This was written some 62 years ago.
I hope you have a blessed time in the desert. Say a prayer for all of us here and for me, if you think of it. I will be praying for you.
p.s. It just struck me that not only is there vast open spaces for solitary prayer in the deserts and wildernesses of America. But there could also be a kind of temporary skete set up for a week or two. This something worth trying to put into practice.
Thanks for that lovely Merton quote - I have his Wisdom of the Desert Father's on my Kindle and was idly reading through it the other day.
I really think a collective spiritual instinct is pushing many of us to seek lives of solitude and simplicity in nature - certainly, I notice there are FAR more people camping in the wild than used to be the case 20 years ago.
It's actually quite remarkable the huge surge in people turning to the outdoors, even before COVID. The whole "van life" movement, while much of it is also a vehicle for conspicuous consumption (many of these vans are built out more beautifully than homes, and the vans often cost 50k and up), it is also surely, at it's roots, a quasi-religious yearning to escape the rat race and reconnect to nature.
And this movement has exploded in popularity lately!
As you say, spiritual minded people should surely begin thinking about taking advantage of this amazing availability of wilderness in the US. "Moving" sketes, hermit routes, pilgrimage routers, etc. Let it be a new Thebaid!
Today, the "outdoors" is too often associated with sports, or at best a secular love of nature - perhaps we can begin a movement to restore the old association of nature with spiritual life.
I watch some YouTube channels of people who hike deep into the wilderness for days, but it's never presented as explicitly spiritual - even though it hints at that, both with the music and presentation.
I sometimes dream of making a YouTube channel chronicling my own forays into the wild, but linking it explicitly to spiritual themes - Taoist poems (perhaps Stonehouse mountain poems, Tao Chien, Cold Mountain, etc - so many others), the Desert Father's, the Russian tradition of hermits and holy wanderers, etc., And those of all lands. The Hindu tradition of becoming a mountain wanderer in old age, the Chinese tradition of the mandarin who gives it all up to be one an Old Man of the Mountains, laughing.
Btw Jack - a month ago I visited a lovely benedictine monastery in New Mexico, right next to Ghost Ranch. It's down a 10 mile dirt road through beautiful desert scenery, and culminates in a magnificent Red Rock canyon that houses the monastery. A lovely experience.
Benjamin- Was it Christ in the Desert? I hear good things. If so, it plays a role in Belden C. Lanes "The Solace of Fierce Landscapes". I would imagine you have read that.
Your youtube channel idea sounds like a good one. I sense people don't know what they are hungry for, but they are hungry. And maybe some day soon a network of temporary desert skete gatherings. I think that would be a good thing indeed.
I actually discovered it by accident, when visiting Ghost Ranch - the road leading to the monastery I heard had great BLM camping.
It was a place of great peace and power, and even camping a few miles away I felt it spread it's spiritual protection over me.
Actually, I ordered The Solace of Fierce Landscapes based on your recommendation in one of your earlier posts - haven't gotten far yet but it's great so far.
I have an American friend who regularly invites me to drop everything to disappear into the wilderness. (He’s in WA)
BLM?
Coming from England such remoteness is a little alien. I took to the NW of Scotland for retreat. Here in NZ, as in the mother country, remote land access is difficult as so much of it is in private hands
BLM = Bureau of Land Mangement = US Government land = you can stay/camp on the land for free, though you can't set up anything permanent and must move elsewhere after a set time.
BLM is the Bureau of Land Management - it's a funny thing, as awful as the American government is, it is amazing in this respect, that it makes available for use - free of charge - it's vast holdings of wilderness. (And it is the majority landowner in the West, not private individuals)
It creates and maintains roads (albeit often poorly), and does not charge access fees - or sometimes very nominal ones. There are apps that allow you to navigate the entire network of back roads crossing this vast terrain, and where travelers leave reviews of good spots to camp.
I could easily imagine a stingy and small minded government simply declaring it's lands off limits to the public, for no other reason than bureaucrats love of control, or at the least tightly regulate, limit, and control access, perhaps for "safety" - as that's such an obsession of our materialist age.
But we are indeed blessed!
Anyways, thanks for your reply Eric. I am sure the mountains of Scotland are absolutely lovely! I have always wanted to visit, and I shall one day.
Many of my favorite places in the American West, I like to think to myself, resembles Scotland, particularly near the Western coast - but yes, the deserts would be quite exotic to you.
Perhaps one day you should accept your American friends invitation:)
“There must be a time of day when the man who makes plans forgets his plans, and acts as if he had no plans at all.
There must be a time of day when the man who has to speak falls very silent. And his mind forms no more propositions, and he asks himself: Did they have a meaning?”
JP- It took me a while to get used to, but getting up early is the way to find silence even in the noisy world. Even up here at altitude it is the best time for silence. Even with the nearby gurgle of Tallahassee Creek and the singing insects the wee hours of the morning are silent in the way other times of the day are usually not. Sunset is a close second.
Merton put together a combination of elements that I believe to be far seeing. Usually these elements are implicit. But there is a list of the books he was reading from mentions in his journals. Dare I say he might appreciate, say, the Abbey of Misrule. Especially since we have gotten to a place I think he would find incredible if not impossible. But he saw many of the trends quite well.
I am glad you are well and that you and the family get to enjoy some silence every now and again. -Jack
I was struck by your first sentence, Jack. “It turns out it isn’t easy to write about silence”. Got me to thinking. Took me back to the collection of essays by Lev Shestov I have been reading in the hills of Snowdonia over the last couple of weeks. Two things: first the apparent caprice and stone-cold suddenness of God’s revelation to His chosen; and, second, the impossibility of ‘teaching’ that revelation by any means other than paradox and parable; and, even by those means, in a form that threatens, always, to violate the Truth that has been revealed.
‘Silence’ is a slippery sucker, eh? Seems to me that the Desert Fathers and Mothers hymned the power of a ‘silence’ defined as the renunciation of the right to speak. And should we wish to dress that notion of ‘speak’ in contemporary terms it would need to incorporate all manner of communicative media that was not known to those ancients.
I guess that the renouncing of speech, in one sense, embodies the struggle to make quiet the internal monologue that we all run on a more or less constant cycle. The voice that comments, flatters and gives shape and sanction to our desires, predicts, arrives at conclusions, pronounces judgements and so on. The ‘voice’ that is drenched in the cultural norms and values we imbibed with our mother’s milk. I will modify this proposition in a moment.
I wonder, Jack, if you might agree that a real danger of ‘silence’ with respect to Christian prayer is that it becomes understood as a ‘technique’ that one might employ to arrive at a ‘goal’? When Fr Voillaume instructs his novices how to comport themselves in their silent prayer of adoration, he says this:
“It is, then, of the most importance that you be convinced that you go to adoration, not to receive but to give, and, what is more, to give often without either realising the you are giving or knowing what you are giving. You go to adoration to deliver up to God, in the night of faith, your entire being [. . .] Adoration is not, to begin with at least, either a matter of feeling or a matter of thinking, but a matter of recognising God’s legitimate hold upon what is deepest in us - upon our very selves; a work that is something bigger and more absolute than you can be conscious of”.
So then, I talked above of the ‘struggle to make quiet the internal monologue’. As a first indication of the desired direction of travel it is OK. But what we need to see, in the light of Fr Voillaume, is the danger of imagining ourselves as the architects and managers of the process. I am tempted to put it this way. ’Silence’ (in this sense) is an emptying of the ‘self’ performed as a Grace of God; capricious, sudden, ‘a work that is something bigger and more absolute’ than we can be conscious of.
Not quite sure what I am saying, now, but I want to speak this: ‘Silence’ is not ‘stilling’ the ‘internal voices’. That is God’s work and God will do God’s work when, where and howsoever God pleases. Rather. ‘silence’ might be something like the ‘medium’ within which we present to God “what is deepest within us”.
I am still at the beginning of this, but what you are saying seems exactly right to me.
The interesting thing about being in deep silence is that I realize I am not really the one doing anything. Other than choosing to be in it and assent to the "process", and not give into to (too many) distractions from it and hide. Now that I have more time to sit "formally" (an inaccurate word, but so be it) in silence I find that lI can let thoughts come and go like anything else does in the silence. If there are moments when thoughts and all else are stilled, they are fleeting. If I have a "job" in all this it is to not cling to that--because clinging to stillness is impossible. I think of Meister Eckhart and "letting go and letting be" and to "let God be God in me". To let myself be, as per Zhuangzi, utterly useless. To live life without why, etc. Or rather, that I am in no way in control of this. So much so I can sense the changes but can hardly describe them, let alone understand it.
It does seem simpler up here--though not always easy--than when I sat quietly in my apt down in the world. There is a reason monasteries are far from the noise of the world. But don't worry! The monastery dog, who is very territorial and so tends to bark, is here to teach me to not even cling to the silence.
I hope you had a restful and blessed time away. Thank you for your comment. -Jack
"Silence is ecumenical. It precedes dogma. It is incapable of crusades. In silence, people who do not speak the same language may yet act together, creating a tableau that talks louder than words."
- Barbara Brown Taylor
As Anglican contemplative Maggie Ross has noted, the insights and the processes of silence are open to everyone because the fundamental workings of the human mind are universal. [MR1] The following collage of reflections about silent contemplative engagement, (meditation/prayer) was compiled from the writings of several Buddhist and Christian scholar/contemplatives and edited into a sequence to be read as an instructive evocation of universal aspects of this process written by a single author. N.B. Source references are given in brackets [ ] after each quote. A key to these sources follows at the end.
Engaging Silence
"Silence is naturally present. " [ML140]
"To touch what is truly straightforward and natural
we have to let go of the ways of knowing that we are used to." [KM104]
"We need a method...that brings us right into what we are experiencing...
in such a way that we neither hold on to nor try to dispel what arises." [KM75-76]
"It is not necessary to believe anything,
but only to observe one’s mind at work with the silence." [MR1]
"Recognize your mind when it stays or leaves.
These two, staying and leaving are respectively called, ‘stillness’ and ‘movement’...
That which sustains the recognition of these two...is awareness." [GA157]
"Awareness is the eye of silence." [ML81]
"Shifting attention...from the objects of awareness to...awareness itself
will bring the thinking mind to silence." [ML28]
"You will be able to recognize the nature of awareness
and rest in that state of recognition without altering anything." [DK52]
"When we rest and look, we first become aware of a mass of unaware thinking." [KM34]
"Some thoughts, feelings and sensations simply come and go on their own
and cause no disturbance. Others catch [us] and [we] fall into distraction.
Which does which is not something [we] control.
As soon as [we] recognize that [we] have been distracted, [we] are already back." [KM64]
"Now all [we] need to do is rest right there." [KM94]
"Silences are built around a central paradox:
all distractions have within them the silent depths we seek." [ML75]
"Whatever appears, whatever arises, first identify it,
then relax and rest in that state, and finally let it be released by itself." [GA102]
"Belief in meditation and striving takes place in a bewildered mind.
Yet simply resting in the reality itself of bewildered mind, unelaborated,
everything is a pure realm of equalness." [PB170]
"When we are well practiced in this...
we will find that we have acquired a certain skill at recognizing thoughts.
They appear and disappear in awareness." [ML65]
"At some point you will note that there are actually moments relatively free of thought." [RD171]
"While the previous thought has ceased and the next one has not yet arisen,
in that mind of nowness...you abide." [PR27]
"Meditate without regarding a long duration of that state as a virtue,
or a short duration as a fault." [GA51]
"Our interiority is not so cramped; indeed it is a vast and spacious flow." [ML93]
"You will be able to recognize the nature of the natural flow.
If one rests uncontrived in that state of recognition, it naturally becomes stronger." [DK31]
"Training is simply short moments of recognition repeated many times." [TU84]
"The key point is to rest and recognize." [KM94]
"Although mindfulness still remains at the core of maintaining this practice.
Here it is mindfulness imbued with self-awareness or our natural awareness.
One can say it is our natural mindfulness." [PB266]
"If we do not do anything with it, or to it, (and that is the hard part),
it is there, Spartan in its simplicity, constant in its presence, vivid and awake,
revealing and refreshing itself moment to moment." [KM88]
"When you come to the conclusion that...awareness does not dwell in
or take support on anything whatsoever, rest right there." [GA236]
"One does not have to ‘hold it up;’ instead it is the one who ‘holds one up.’
And in its very doing so, nothing is lacking." [PB49]
"Therefore, with trust and conviction, with joy and determination,
remain in silence and rest in composure." [GA38]
Key To Sources:
DK - Dilgo Khyentse, "Primordial Purity"
GA - Gerardo Abboud, "The Royal Seal of Mahamudra" [Vol I]
KM - Ken Mcleod, "A Trackless Path"
ML - Martin Laird, "Into the Silent Land"
MR - Maggie Ross, "Silence: A User's Guide" vol.l
PB - Peter Barth, "The Meditations of Longchen Rabjam"
PR - Patrul Rinpoche, "The Nature of Mind"
RD - Rodney P. Devenish, "Natural Mind Meditation"
Geovock- This an excellent compilation. I will relate one thing from my own small experience. What I find so interesting and hopeful is how deeply and seemingly instantly the silence starts working. I have just to put myself in its path, so to speak and assent to it.
Conversely, there are a lot reasons our world is so noisy. I think one of those reasons is to avoid silence working in us. This is something I hope to explore soon and have a discussion about. Thank you. I hope you are well. -Jack
We often talk of ‘making the space’ for God, but if the Incarnation tells us anything it is that we are that Space. It’s so easy to turn it into our project . . . ‘Look at all the things we have done in your name!’
I am curious -- how different will your life be in the hermitage compared to the monastery? Will you still join in the chants, prayers, services? Will you eat there alone? I'm trying to envision this life i know so little about. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
This is a good and important question. I think this will be important to discuss in future posts. How do we live in silence and solitude without it turning into isolation? One's own "issues" become much clearer in the silence so there does need to be a supporting community--at least for the vast majority of us. Also, how might this be done in families, and in larger communities. I believe you recently related the comments of someone who had started a community and that it was like "a madhouse". I think this needs to be taken very seriously. Thank you for bringing it up.
As for me, right now only my location has changed. I am still chanting the Office with the monks as usual. I don't know exactly yet what my schedule will look like moving forward, but if nothing else it will give me more time in silence. I will still typically take my meals in common. I will be present at least one Office per day. Mass on Sundays. Also, and I think this is crucial, weekly confession. In Orthodoxy there is the sense of confession as that of spiritual guidance and not only repentance. The Abbot is an excellent confessor and this is a big part of what gives me confidence to go forward with this. If, and when my issues arise, I feel there will be support to work through it. This is essential. -Jack
Eric- Yes, this exactly. I would add, not only that the silence lives in us, but that we become the silence. Which may be a different way of saying the same thing.
I have to wonder if the silence is so foreign to so many of us now that we need a way to introduce it gradually. Otherwise this is where the danger of isolation occurs.
The interesting and beautiful thing I find in Gregorian Chant (among other forms of chant) is that it almost breathes with the silence. It seems to emerge from silence and disappear back into it. I am no liturgist, but it seems like something of this sort is possible. I imagine it takes skill and prayer and dedication.
In fact I seem to be on one such introduction to deeper silence right now. It has happened in ways I could not possibly have planned. I hope it will continue.
HT- I was thinking yesterday that if you told me a year ago where I'd be, I would hardly have believed it. Yet here I am. The Spirit moves in mysterious ways (to alas, quote Bono). I am at least as interested in finding out where this goes. I hope you are well. -Jack
I did my own version of what your doing a 3 years ago when I was broken. It had an unexpected effect on me . And l also remember what a great companion my fire/stove was , brought great comfort
Cal- It is already starting to get cold up here (7600 ft) at night. And....and there is a wood burning stove! So, while it might get pretty cold, I am kind of looking forward to nights with the fire going.
But to the more important point: yes, I agree. I am only near the beginning of this, but the silence and the remoteness of the monastery alone have had a deep and surprising effect on me. As I settled down and let go of the noise I can start to sense the work this silence is doing. But it is not easy to describe. This is something I hope we can all have a conversation about. I hope you will contribute. Be well. -Jack
Nanda- Good to hear from you! Do I have it right that you will be heading of to India for a time? I hope this goes well for you.
Your quote does spark something. It makes me think I must first deal with all the noise my words contain. To discern the way that noise has formed me. This will probably be the necessary first step. We will see what comes next. But I get intimations of how silence can form us and deepen our talking about God--in silence and from silence.
Yes, I do feel inspired. I also recognize that this will be a challenge not to skim the surface but consent to being submerged a bit. On God's plan, not my own!
I'm really pleased that you have received such a providential opportunity. It looks like the path you have begun to walk suits you well. I am reminded of words a former school teacher used to say often: " we are human beings not human doings". Simple but, the more I consider the words, quite profound. Now you get your chance to become a human being again; being the person that God intended you to be. I'm looking forward to more of your writing (and speaking).
Oh, I was wondering if you still wake in the night? I believe that spiritual healing is just as potent as anything physically administered and would be interested to know if your experience has had an effect.
You are absolutely right as far as I can tell. In assenting to silence and to let it do its work in me, I do feel that there is something in us that has largely been neglected and even distorted. This is why I am starting to think that it might be beneficial to examine the world of noise first. It is noise that has formed me for the most part, not silence. Yet even in my few months in silence I can recognized that it is silence that is my home. In silence, and largely only insilence, can we find out who we are.I hope this season of silence--however long or short it lasts--can teach me more about this.
Yes, for the most part I do still wake up in the middle of the night. It isn't nearly as bad as it was in the past. In fact it is much better. I usually go out and look at the stars as it is very easy to do hear. Than I might pray a bit and so 90% of the time I fall back asleep. I still need to try out the milk thistle you recommended. I need to see if that helps.
Perhaps waking in the night isn't so bad when you're not on "Machine time" and can take in the beauty of the world at rest. Perhaps it's of benefit to you at this point? It certainly seems that way.
I think so. Being up at 3 am is different here. Down in the world my mind would get stuck in the loop of "I need to sleep because I am getting up in two hours". Which was the worst thing to do as it only caused anxiety. Now, some stargazing and some prayer and I usually go back to sleep fairly quickly.
Mrs S- Thank you for the book recommendation. It looks excellent. It is always good to see how others have found the same thing I am finding in silence. What humans have always found in silence. I am always up for a good book recommendation!
It is interesting, and not a little baffling, how difficult it has been to describe the changes that happen in silence. I think I am going to first start with how noise has formed me. How it distorts us. This might be easier to do. I think this can be an interesting discussion. Few of us have been so blessed to escape the world of noise.
'If all goes well—and this by God’s grace—I will become ever more useless by the day.'
This is an excellent aim to have.
A man can certainly dream...
Strange to say, I can feel the silence in the simplicity of your expression. I wish you every blessing in your journey into the “useless” realm, which I sometimes wish I could enter. It seems the amount of psychological noise we are exposed to changes us profoundly. I live a comparatively quiet life, but not nearly so quiet as yours; and around me I see people who walk about with blinking earbuds all day. Different animals, it feels like.
Either way you are encouraging me to think more about silence and stillness in the context of ordinary (non-monastic) life. Thank you.
Peter- I am trying to learn the language of silence. I am glad that it may be seeping in, even if just a little.
The whole experience of silence has me thinking a lot about noise. How did we get to a place where we need constant noise and stimulation to keep us going through the day. It is turning us into something else. I dare say it is even a kind of spiritual practice. The question is to what spirit? I wonder how much equivalence there is between civilization and noise? How much do those venn diagrams overlap?
I would love to hear what you have to say about silence and stillness in "ordinary" life. I am groping towards what that means myself. Even if, at least for a time, I am up here at altitude in the remote wilderness. I hope you and the family are doing well. -Jack
It’s hard to write about silence without considering the context of silence, so that’s part of my thought process right now. There is the context of the brain (I am reading, slowly, McGilchrist’s Master/Emissary book), and there is the context of civilization (as you pointed out), and other contexts. The most relevant one to me, is the context of trust in God as the foundation.
I was speaking earlier today with an aging pastor friend of mine, who reminded me that the Christian search for peace is not the search for peace itself, or a lack of conflict or silence, but a search for God, who is the foundation (the shalom) which provides peace even in the context of noise and conflict. My friend even went further, and suggested that it’s better to experience suffering in the context of this peace, because suffering keeps us aware of our need of God, rather than to experience peace and security and to forget that need; because in the latter case we gain nothing of lasting value, and lose the only thing that really matters (I am speaking, of course, from the perspective of the traditional Christian worldview).
This emphasis on suffering does not sit well with me naturally, but I would not expect it to. I don’t want to suffer in any context; I don’t endure it particularly well; and I don’t like seeing others suffer. But still I see the point. The bane of civilization is not that it robs peace from us (though it can certainly do that), but that it gives us a poorly founded peace.
Please don’t take any of this as a criticism of your own journey or focus. Each person’s walk is unique, which is one of the beauties of seeing through this worldview; it is not a template or a system or a formula but a story, with all the variations that implies.
For myself, it seems I need to always start the search for peace without sacrificing the greater imperative of being true to the things before me, which are many and often noisy but mundane (work, family, chores, etc). I could not undertake what you have undertaken, and yet the older I get, the more I have bumped into the question, How can I live more monastically, and what does that mean in my particular situation? What does it mean in my relationships? What does it mean during tasks? What does it mean for my particular personality, which is very monkish in some ways, and in other ways not at all?
Good for you Jack, I'm sincerely happy for you!
I want to point out that at least for anyone living in America, there are practically limitless opportunities for private hermitages in nature, in near total solitude amid the most spectacular scenery.
In the West, 70% of the land is owned by BLM, which graciously makes nearly all of it available to anyone who wants to camp on it, often in remote and spectacular locations. Dirt roads make most of this land easily accessible. And you can choose your scenery, the most spectacular deserts or the deepest forests, or the tops of mountains, or wild and desolate coasts!
One can simply choose a beautiful spot, and set up camp for weeks. For that matter, one can climb a mountain and just camp, and spend a week in utter silence and solitude.
It is my fervent wish that one day the spectacular and amazing deserts and forests of the American West will thronged with hermits and holy men of all types, and monasteries will perch on mountain crags.
I am right now on my way to Moab Utah, near canyon lands np, to do exactly this - seek silence and solitude in the limitless and amazing redrock canyons of the Southwest.
Every time I pass a particularly moving and desolate stretch I think, this is the kind of scenery that people should go on pilgrimages to in order to visit the holy hermit (s) who live there, seeking advice, and every time I pass a remote hilltop I think how suitable it is for a monastery.
May it one day be so!
Benjamin-
I was just reading the following in the Introduction to "The Wisdom of the Desert" by Thomas Merton. Which could very well be a manifesto of sorts for what I am calling the Arsenios Option. I think we all can, as you are, start now to fill the deserts with holy hermits. The time is now.
"It would perhaps be too much to say that the world needs another movement such as that which drew these men into the deserts. Ours is certainly a time for solitaries and for hermits. But merely to reproduce the simplicity, austerity and prayer of these primitive souls is not a complete or satisfactory answer. We must transcend all those who, since their time, have gone beyond the limits which they set. We must liberate ourselves, in our own way, from involvement in a world that is plunging to disaster. But our world is different than theirs. Our involvement in it is more complete. Our danger is far more desperate. Our time, perhaps, is shorter than we think.
We cannot do exactly what they did. But we must be as thorough and as ruthless in our determination to break all spiritual chains, and cast off the domination of alien compulsions, to find our true selves, to discover and develop our inalienable spiritual liberty and use it to build, on earth, the Kingdom of God. This is not the place in which to speculate what our great and mysterious vocation might involve. That is still unknown. Let it suffice for me to say that we need to learn from these men of the fourth century how to ignore prejudice, defy compulsion, and strike out fearlessly into the unknown."
This was written some 62 years ago.
I hope you have a blessed time in the desert. Say a prayer for all of us here and for me, if you think of it. I will be praying for you.
-Jack
p.s. It just struck me that not only is there vast open spaces for solitary prayer in the deserts and wildernesses of America. But there could also be a kind of temporary skete set up for a week or two. This something worth trying to put into practice.
Thanks for that lovely Merton quote - I have his Wisdom of the Desert Father's on my Kindle and was idly reading through it the other day.
I really think a collective spiritual instinct is pushing many of us to seek lives of solitude and simplicity in nature - certainly, I notice there are FAR more people camping in the wild than used to be the case 20 years ago.
It's actually quite remarkable the huge surge in people turning to the outdoors, even before COVID. The whole "van life" movement, while much of it is also a vehicle for conspicuous consumption (many of these vans are built out more beautifully than homes, and the vans often cost 50k and up), it is also surely, at it's roots, a quasi-religious yearning to escape the rat race and reconnect to nature.
And this movement has exploded in popularity lately!
As you say, spiritual minded people should surely begin thinking about taking advantage of this amazing availability of wilderness in the US. "Moving" sketes, hermit routes, pilgrimage routers, etc. Let it be a new Thebaid!
Today, the "outdoors" is too often associated with sports, or at best a secular love of nature - perhaps we can begin a movement to restore the old association of nature with spiritual life.
I watch some YouTube channels of people who hike deep into the wilderness for days, but it's never presented as explicitly spiritual - even though it hints at that, both with the music and presentation.
I sometimes dream of making a YouTube channel chronicling my own forays into the wild, but linking it explicitly to spiritual themes - Taoist poems (perhaps Stonehouse mountain poems, Tao Chien, Cold Mountain, etc - so many others), the Desert Father's, the Russian tradition of hermits and holy wanderers, etc., And those of all lands. The Hindu tradition of becoming a mountain wanderer in old age, the Chinese tradition of the mandarin who gives it all up to be one an Old Man of the Mountains, laughing.
Btw Jack - a month ago I visited a lovely benedictine monastery in New Mexico, right next to Ghost Ranch. It's down a 10 mile dirt road through beautiful desert scenery, and culminates in a magnificent Red Rock canyon that houses the monastery. A lovely experience.
I will certainly include you in my prayers, Jack!
Benjamin- Was it Christ in the Desert? I hear good things. If so, it plays a role in Belden C. Lanes "The Solace of Fierce Landscapes". I would imagine you have read that.
Your youtube channel idea sounds like a good one. I sense people don't know what they are hungry for, but they are hungry. And maybe some day soon a network of temporary desert skete gatherings. I think that would be a good thing indeed.
Enjoy the solitude,
Jack
Yes, it's Christ in the desert monastery!
I actually discovered it by accident, when visiting Ghost Ranch - the road leading to the monastery I heard had great BLM camping.
It was a place of great peace and power, and even camping a few miles away I felt it spread it's spiritual protection over me.
Actually, I ordered The Solace of Fierce Landscapes based on your recommendation in one of your earlier posts - haven't gotten far yet but it's great so far.
All the best - enjoy your time of silence.
Hello Benjamin
Thank you for that lovely post
I have an American friend who regularly invites me to drop everything to disappear into the wilderness. (He’s in WA)
BLM?
Coming from England such remoteness is a little alien. I took to the NW of Scotland for retreat. Here in NZ, as in the mother country, remote land access is difficult as so much of it is in private hands
Grace to you
BLM = Bureau of Land Mangement = US Government land = you can stay/camp on the land for free, though you can't set up anything permanent and must move elsewhere after a set time.
BLM is the Bureau of Land Management - it's a funny thing, as awful as the American government is, it is amazing in this respect, that it makes available for use - free of charge - it's vast holdings of wilderness. (And it is the majority landowner in the West, not private individuals)
It creates and maintains roads (albeit often poorly), and does not charge access fees - or sometimes very nominal ones. There are apps that allow you to navigate the entire network of back roads crossing this vast terrain, and where travelers leave reviews of good spots to camp.
I could easily imagine a stingy and small minded government simply declaring it's lands off limits to the public, for no other reason than bureaucrats love of control, or at the least tightly regulate, limit, and control access, perhaps for "safety" - as that's such an obsession of our materialist age.
But we are indeed blessed!
Anyways, thanks for your reply Eric. I am sure the mountains of Scotland are absolutely lovely! I have always wanted to visit, and I shall one day.
Many of my favorite places in the American West, I like to think to myself, resembles Scotland, particularly near the Western coast - but yes, the deserts would be quite exotic to you.
Perhaps one day you should accept your American friends invitation:)
Ah, yes
Here in NZ it would most definitely be safety! And thank you for your fulsome reply!
“There must be a time of day when the man who makes plans forgets his plans, and acts as if he had no plans at all.
There must be a time of day when the man who has to speak falls very silent. And his mind forms no more propositions, and he asks himself: Did they have a meaning?”
- Thomas Merton
JP- Amen . This goes to the heart of it.
I am finding Merton to be more and more central to the path I seem to be on--whatever it is. Thank you for this. I hope all is well. -Jack
All is well. As a father of three young lively humans I usually dwell in the world opposite silence. But I'm getting better at watching the sun wake.
I somehow always return to Merton at some point. The chapter Asceticism and Sacrifice in No Man is an Island is always worth pouring over again.
JP- It took me a while to get used to, but getting up early is the way to find silence even in the noisy world. Even up here at altitude it is the best time for silence. Even with the nearby gurgle of Tallahassee Creek and the singing insects the wee hours of the morning are silent in the way other times of the day are usually not. Sunset is a close second.
Merton put together a combination of elements that I believe to be far seeing. Usually these elements are implicit. But there is a list of the books he was reading from mentions in his journals. Dare I say he might appreciate, say, the Abbey of Misrule. Especially since we have gotten to a place I think he would find incredible if not impossible. But he saw many of the trends quite well.
I am glad you are well and that you and the family get to enjoy some silence every now and again. -Jack
I was struck by your first sentence, Jack. “It turns out it isn’t easy to write about silence”. Got me to thinking. Took me back to the collection of essays by Lev Shestov I have been reading in the hills of Snowdonia over the last couple of weeks. Two things: first the apparent caprice and stone-cold suddenness of God’s revelation to His chosen; and, second, the impossibility of ‘teaching’ that revelation by any means other than paradox and parable; and, even by those means, in a form that threatens, always, to violate the Truth that has been revealed.
‘Silence’ is a slippery sucker, eh? Seems to me that the Desert Fathers and Mothers hymned the power of a ‘silence’ defined as the renunciation of the right to speak. And should we wish to dress that notion of ‘speak’ in contemporary terms it would need to incorporate all manner of communicative media that was not known to those ancients.
I guess that the renouncing of speech, in one sense, embodies the struggle to make quiet the internal monologue that we all run on a more or less constant cycle. The voice that comments, flatters and gives shape and sanction to our desires, predicts, arrives at conclusions, pronounces judgements and so on. The ‘voice’ that is drenched in the cultural norms and values we imbibed with our mother’s milk. I will modify this proposition in a moment.
I wonder, Jack, if you might agree that a real danger of ‘silence’ with respect to Christian prayer is that it becomes understood as a ‘technique’ that one might employ to arrive at a ‘goal’? When Fr Voillaume instructs his novices how to comport themselves in their silent prayer of adoration, he says this:
“It is, then, of the most importance that you be convinced that you go to adoration, not to receive but to give, and, what is more, to give often without either realising the you are giving or knowing what you are giving. You go to adoration to deliver up to God, in the night of faith, your entire being [. . .] Adoration is not, to begin with at least, either a matter of feeling or a matter of thinking, but a matter of recognising God’s legitimate hold upon what is deepest in us - upon our very selves; a work that is something bigger and more absolute than you can be conscious of”.
So then, I talked above of the ‘struggle to make quiet the internal monologue’. As a first indication of the desired direction of travel it is OK. But what we need to see, in the light of Fr Voillaume, is the danger of imagining ourselves as the architects and managers of the process. I am tempted to put it this way. ’Silence’ (in this sense) is an emptying of the ‘self’ performed as a Grace of God; capricious, sudden, ‘a work that is something bigger and more absolute’ than we can be conscious of.
Not quite sure what I am saying, now, but I want to speak this: ‘Silence’ is not ‘stilling’ the ‘internal voices’. That is God’s work and God will do God’s work when, where and howsoever God pleases. Rather. ‘silence’ might be something like the ‘medium’ within which we present to God “what is deepest within us”.
John-
I am still at the beginning of this, but what you are saying seems exactly right to me.
The interesting thing about being in deep silence is that I realize I am not really the one doing anything. Other than choosing to be in it and assent to the "process", and not give into to (too many) distractions from it and hide. Now that I have more time to sit "formally" (an inaccurate word, but so be it) in silence I find that lI can let thoughts come and go like anything else does in the silence. If there are moments when thoughts and all else are stilled, they are fleeting. If I have a "job" in all this it is to not cling to that--because clinging to stillness is impossible. I think of Meister Eckhart and "letting go and letting be" and to "let God be God in me". To let myself be, as per Zhuangzi, utterly useless. To live life without why, etc. Or rather, that I am in no way in control of this. So much so I can sense the changes but can hardly describe them, let alone understand it.
It does seem simpler up here--though not always easy--than when I sat quietly in my apt down in the world. There is a reason monasteries are far from the noise of the world. But don't worry! The monastery dog, who is very territorial and so tends to bark, is here to teach me to not even cling to the silence.
I hope you had a restful and blessed time away. Thank you for your comment. -Jack
May your journey into the unknown depths of your silence reap rewards beyond your imagination. I wish you Godspeed. Much love.
Will be praying for you Jack and look forward to hearing all that you learn!
Silence is our Yes to Gods Yes to us
"Silence is ecumenical. It precedes dogma. It is incapable of crusades. In silence, people who do not speak the same language may yet act together, creating a tableau that talks louder than words."
- Barbara Brown Taylor
As Anglican contemplative Maggie Ross has noted, the insights and the processes of silence are open to everyone because the fundamental workings of the human mind are universal. [MR1] The following collage of reflections about silent contemplative engagement, (meditation/prayer) was compiled from the writings of several Buddhist and Christian scholar/contemplatives and edited into a sequence to be read as an instructive evocation of universal aspects of this process written by a single author. N.B. Source references are given in brackets [ ] after each quote. A key to these sources follows at the end.
Engaging Silence
"Silence is naturally present. " [ML140]
"To touch what is truly straightforward and natural
we have to let go of the ways of knowing that we are used to." [KM104]
"We need a method...that brings us right into what we are experiencing...
in such a way that we neither hold on to nor try to dispel what arises." [KM75-76]
"It is not necessary to believe anything,
but only to observe one’s mind at work with the silence." [MR1]
"Recognize your mind when it stays or leaves.
These two, staying and leaving are respectively called, ‘stillness’ and ‘movement’...
That which sustains the recognition of these two...is awareness." [GA157]
"Awareness is the eye of silence." [ML81]
"Shifting attention...from the objects of awareness to...awareness itself
will bring the thinking mind to silence." [ML28]
"You will be able to recognize the nature of awareness
and rest in that state of recognition without altering anything." [DK52]
"When we rest and look, we first become aware of a mass of unaware thinking." [KM34]
"Some thoughts, feelings and sensations simply come and go on their own
and cause no disturbance. Others catch [us] and [we] fall into distraction.
Which does which is not something [we] control.
As soon as [we] recognize that [we] have been distracted, [we] are already back." [KM64]
"Now all [we] need to do is rest right there." [KM94]
"Silences are built around a central paradox:
all distractions have within them the silent depths we seek." [ML75]
"Whatever appears, whatever arises, first identify it,
then relax and rest in that state, and finally let it be released by itself." [GA102]
"Belief in meditation and striving takes place in a bewildered mind.
Yet simply resting in the reality itself of bewildered mind, unelaborated,
everything is a pure realm of equalness." [PB170]
"When we are well practiced in this...
we will find that we have acquired a certain skill at recognizing thoughts.
They appear and disappear in awareness." [ML65]
"At some point you will note that there are actually moments relatively free of thought." [RD171]
"While the previous thought has ceased and the next one has not yet arisen,
in that mind of nowness...you abide." [PR27]
"Meditate without regarding a long duration of that state as a virtue,
or a short duration as a fault." [GA51]
"Our interiority is not so cramped; indeed it is a vast and spacious flow." [ML93]
"You will be able to recognize the nature of the natural flow.
If one rests uncontrived in that state of recognition, it naturally becomes stronger." [DK31]
"Training is simply short moments of recognition repeated many times." [TU84]
"The key point is to rest and recognize." [KM94]
"Although mindfulness still remains at the core of maintaining this practice.
Here it is mindfulness imbued with self-awareness or our natural awareness.
One can say it is our natural mindfulness." [PB266]
"If we do not do anything with it, or to it, (and that is the hard part),
it is there, Spartan in its simplicity, constant in its presence, vivid and awake,
revealing and refreshing itself moment to moment." [KM88]
"When you come to the conclusion that...awareness does not dwell in
or take support on anything whatsoever, rest right there." [GA236]
"One does not have to ‘hold it up;’ instead it is the one who ‘holds one up.’
And in its very doing so, nothing is lacking." [PB49]
"Therefore, with trust and conviction, with joy and determination,
remain in silence and rest in composure." [GA38]
Key To Sources:
DK - Dilgo Khyentse, "Primordial Purity"
GA - Gerardo Abboud, "The Royal Seal of Mahamudra" [Vol I]
KM - Ken Mcleod, "A Trackless Path"
ML - Martin Laird, "Into the Silent Land"
MR - Maggie Ross, "Silence: A User's Guide" vol.l
PB - Peter Barth, "The Meditations of Longchen Rabjam"
PR - Patrul Rinpoche, "The Nature of Mind"
RD - Rodney P. Devenish, "Natural Mind Meditation"
TU - Tulku Urgyen, "Rainbow Painting"
Geovock- This an excellent compilation. I will relate one thing from my own small experience. What I find so interesting and hopeful is how deeply and seemingly instantly the silence starts working. I have just to put myself in its path, so to speak and assent to it.
Conversely, there are a lot reasons our world is so noisy. I think one of those reasons is to avoid silence working in us. This is something I hope to explore soon and have a discussion about. Thank you. I hope you are well. -Jack
It is becoming the Space
We often talk of ‘making the space’ for God, but if the Incarnation tells us anything it is that we are that Space. It’s so easy to turn it into our project . . . ‘Look at all the things we have done in your name!’
Thanks Geovock!
Really glad you got this opportunity Jack. Go well
Liam- Thank you. And thank you for being part of this conversation. I hope you are well. -Jack
Good Morning Jack, Glad you have this chance.
I am curious -- how different will your life be in the hermitage compared to the monastery? Will you still join in the chants, prayers, services? Will you eat there alone? I'm trying to envision this life i know so little about. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Clara
Clara-
This is a good and important question. I think this will be important to discuss in future posts. How do we live in silence and solitude without it turning into isolation? One's own "issues" become much clearer in the silence so there does need to be a supporting community--at least for the vast majority of us. Also, how might this be done in families, and in larger communities. I believe you recently related the comments of someone who had started a community and that it was like "a madhouse". I think this needs to be taken very seriously. Thank you for bringing it up.
As for me, right now only my location has changed. I am still chanting the Office with the monks as usual. I don't know exactly yet what my schedule will look like moving forward, but if nothing else it will give me more time in silence. I will still typically take my meals in common. I will be present at least one Office per day. Mass on Sundays. Also, and I think this is crucial, weekly confession. In Orthodoxy there is the sense of confession as that of spiritual guidance and not only repentance. The Abbot is an excellent confessor and this is a big part of what gives me confidence to go forward with this. If, and when my issues arise, I feel there will be support to work through it. This is essential. -Jack
Update: I talked with the Abbot this morning and I have my new schedule. Which has begun. Say a prayer for me, if you think of it. -Jack
Hi Jack
My apologies but I’ve been reading comments from the foot upwards so in a sense have responded to your question below, but to join the dots . . .
“How do we live in silence and solitude without it turning into isolation?”
By allowing the Silence to live in us?
Hope you are well
Eric
Eric- Yes, this exactly. I would add, not only that the silence lives in us, but that we become the silence. Which may be a different way of saying the same thing.
I have to wonder if the silence is so foreign to so many of us now that we need a way to introduce it gradually. Otherwise this is where the danger of isolation occurs.
I hope all is well with you. -Jack
Yes it is so very foreign
Particularly within the church . . .
People are terrified of it
I have, gently, to remonstrate with my liturgists who don’t pause for peoples knees to hit the kneelers before getting on with the liturgy :)
Maggie Ross speaks of that way being deliberately suppressed
Certainly if one equates noise with activism, the ascendency of human agency in the church with the disappearance of prayer . . .
Where is the Space for Gods agency, our transformation, the renewal of the nous? Silence seems to be the place
There’s something here also about it being the source of what we’ve come to call ‘intuition’ as opposed to ‘conscious management’
Blessings from The End of the World
Eric
The interesting and beautiful thing I find in Gregorian Chant (among other forms of chant) is that it almost breathes with the silence. It seems to emerge from silence and disappear back into it. I am no liturgist, but it seems like something of this sort is possible. I imagine it takes skill and prayer and dedication.
In fact I seem to be on one such introduction to deeper silence right now. It has happened in ways I could not possibly have planned. I hope it will continue.
And, thank you
In so far as I know my own heart, it is well with my soul :)
Beautiful post! You're on such a fascinating journey and I look forward to reading more about it.
HT- I was thinking yesterday that if you told me a year ago where I'd be, I would hardly have believed it. Yet here I am. The Spirit moves in mysterious ways (to alas, quote Bono). I am at least as interested in finding out where this goes. I hope you are well. -Jack
I did my own version of what your doing a 3 years ago when I was broken. It had an unexpected effect on me . And l also remember what a great companion my fire/stove was , brought great comfort
Cal- It is already starting to get cold up here (7600 ft) at night. And....and there is a wood burning stove! So, while it might get pretty cold, I am kind of looking forward to nights with the fire going.
But to the more important point: yes, I agree. I am only near the beginning of this, but the silence and the remoteness of the monastery alone have had a deep and surprising effect on me. As I settled down and let go of the noise I can start to sense the work this silence is doing. But it is not easy to describe. This is something I hope we can all have a conversation about. I hope you will contribute. Be well. -Jack
Congratulations for the test run! You sound very inspired.
A great saint once said true silence is talking about God... In case it sparks something.
Nanda- Good to hear from you! Do I have it right that you will be heading of to India for a time? I hope this goes well for you.
Your quote does spark something. It makes me think I must first deal with all the noise my words contain. To discern the way that noise has formed me. This will probably be the necessary first step. We will see what comes next. But I get intimations of how silence can form us and deepen our talking about God--in silence and from silence.
Yes, I do feel inspired. I also recognize that this will be a challenge not to skim the surface but consent to being submerged a bit. On God's plan, not my own!
I hope you are well. -Jack
Well, I hope you'll also be doing a lot of singing!
And yes, thank you, I'm good and very happy about the trip to mother India :)
Take care!
I'm really pleased that you have received such a providential opportunity. It looks like the path you have begun to walk suits you well. I am reminded of words a former school teacher used to say often: " we are human beings not human doings". Simple but, the more I consider the words, quite profound. Now you get your chance to become a human being again; being the person that God intended you to be. I'm looking forward to more of your writing (and speaking).
Oh, I was wondering if you still wake in the night? I believe that spiritual healing is just as potent as anything physically administered and would be interested to know if your experience has had an effect.
Naomi-
You are absolutely right as far as I can tell. In assenting to silence and to let it do its work in me, I do feel that there is something in us that has largely been neglected and even distorted. This is why I am starting to think that it might be beneficial to examine the world of noise first. It is noise that has formed me for the most part, not silence. Yet even in my few months in silence I can recognized that it is silence that is my home. In silence, and largely only insilence, can we find out who we are.I hope this season of silence--however long or short it lasts--can teach me more about this.
Yes, for the most part I do still wake up in the middle of the night. It isn't nearly as bad as it was in the past. In fact it is much better. I usually go out and look at the stars as it is very easy to do hear. Than I might pray a bit and so 90% of the time I fall back asleep. I still need to try out the milk thistle you recommended. I need to see if that helps.
I hope you are well. -Jack
Perhaps waking in the night isn't so bad when you're not on "Machine time" and can take in the beauty of the world at rest. Perhaps it's of benefit to you at this point? It certainly seems that way.
:-)
I think so. Being up at 3 am is different here. Down in the world my mind would get stuck in the loop of "I need to sleep because I am getting up in two hours". Which was the worst thing to do as it only caused anxiety. Now, some stargazing and some prayer and I usually go back to sleep fairly quickly.
Thank you for the update. It would be fascinating to hear how the silence is changing you.
If i may I'd like to recommend this book by a woman also seeking silence:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B003MAJU92/ref=dbs_a_def_awm_bibl_vppi_i1
Mrs S- Thank you for the book recommendation. It looks excellent. It is always good to see how others have found the same thing I am finding in silence. What humans have always found in silence. I am always up for a good book recommendation!
It is interesting, and not a little baffling, how difficult it has been to describe the changes that happen in silence. I think I am going to first start with how noise has formed me. How it distorts us. This might be easier to do. I think this can be an interesting discussion. Few of us have been so blessed to escape the world of noise.
I hope you are well. -Jack